Freedom in Vulnerability
Oct 01, 2024
There was a time when being vulnerable for me was off limits.
Seriously, off limits.
I was locked in my tower of knowing.
Shackled to the idea of perfection.
Knowing how I should show up.
Knowing how to be seen.
Knowing how to hide the flaws.
At the time, I associated vulnerability with being weak.
Strong people forged on, muscled through.
Yes, I was one of THOSE people.
And then life happened.
And I embraced vulnerability and its power.
After all, we are human.
I was human.
Shame, makes us human.
Vulnerability gives us strength.
Being vulnerable can heal us.
In our most vulnerable moments we connect.
We connect through the heart.
Our inability to be vulnerable and to share,
keeps us from the things that we think we’re being held back from.
Our inability to let go and share,
inhibits our healing,
Inhibits connection to ourself and others.
After 20+ yrs of marriage was over, I wasn’t ready for love again.
My work became my surrogate.
My drive created the armor.
The armor insulated the feelings,
Both inside and out.
Shame was buried deep.
The shame wasn’t getting let out.
Nor was love allowed in.
Until I came to terms with it all.
And I unleashed my story publicly.
Yes, I had a touch of speakers remorse weeks later.
Just a touch. . .
I almost wanted to take it all back.
Instead, I trusted it would all be okay.
Because there were others who needed to hear the story,
To know they were not alone,
And that grace, peace and joy was on the other side.
Strength doesn’t disappear in the storm of internal turmoil.
It emerges with grace and forgiveness and the strength of tempered steel.
And here’s where the beauty of it all comes in.
With the intention of helping others, I was given a gift,
One I never saw coming.
It was in sharing and releasing of the story that the shame was dissolved.
The hold on me was gone.
And to my surprise, I said it was time to get off the shelf.
I said it’s time to love again.
Never saw that coming!
When we believe that not being vulnerable is saving us from the pain of the shame, it holds us in suspended time.
We hover in the past.
We don’t see that our inability to be vulnerable, to step into our humanity, is the thing that is actually holding us back.
We are holding ourselves back from moving towards what we desire most.
From what we’ve buried deep down inside.
Away from ourselves.
Away from others.
And I continue to be reminded of the gifts that appear,
When you embrace messy,
Connect with humility,
And speak your vulnerable moments out into the world.
The gift of vulnerability goes both ways, unexpectedly.
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